Occured to me to post it here, for what it might be worth ... wrote it a few years back; the friend with the 182 mentioned is one of you crazy backcountry pilots now!
The sentiments I express here are the driving influence for my writing ... and why one of these days ~ I'm going to find a way to do more than just write about pilots
FEAR AND FLYING, FAITH AND HEROES ~ © S. Terrell 7/05
Flying. The word is subject to many interpretations. A bird flies, an insect flies. Some say, metaphorically, that our hearts can fly, as well as our spirit. A human being can fly, but they do it under artificial conditions, not with attached wings but at the mercy of metal, mechanics, knowledge and technique. The thought of flying brings on varied emotions for different people. To some, the idea brings passion and pleasurable anticipation. And yet to others, sheer dread.
I have always loved to fly. With my father being a career employee of one of the major airlines, I grew up flying in commercial aircraft, taking my first flight as a baby. Boarding an airplane and flying through the air was as normal for me as getting into a car, although I always found it much more exhilarating than driving. My earliest recollections of sitting in my own seat in an airplane are of looking forward to take-offs and landings, which admittedly can be the ultimate sources of dread for those who do not find joy in flight. But for me, as a young child, the thrill of feeling an aircraft lifting into the air, or touching the ground again was equivalent to seeing the presents under the tree on Christmas morning, knowing I was moments away from revealing the treasures under the wrapping. No fear, no concerns; only excited anticipation. To this day, the revving of the engines prior to lift-off and the sound of them reversing after returning to earth, brings me a sense of awe and respect. How amazing, that I who must walk on two feet, could sit and fly through the air. Magic.
I suppose if one is to narrow down the fear of flying to its most basic element, it is obviously the fear of death. Nothing like sitting a few thousand feet above firm ground in a metal capsule held aloft by forces which, if you’re not a pilot, you don’t comprehend and must blindly trust. It is the ultimate act of faith, and if you think about the potential consequences of something going wrong, the mind cannot help but contemplate ones’ own mortality. Frightening too, especially experiencing flight in a private plane, is the fact that you are completely dependent on another human being to keep you safe. In a commercial aircraft, that is the case also of course. But in those circumstances, we are removed from the reality somewhat by the size and circumstances; we are separated from the pilot and the controls, and are surrounded by other people in an environment that we can get up and walk around in, helping a person to maintain an illusion of normality.
On the ground, driving with someone else in a car, I think we play a game with ourselves of thinking we could ultimately do “something” if we felt our existence threatened. In a car, one can play “back seat driver”; delude ourselves into thinking we could if necessary, have a little say in our fate. But in an aircraft, especially a small one, where flight activities are taking place in your full sight, unless you’re a pilot yourself, you can only sit in silence and trust that the person in charge is very good at what they do.
Fear, mortality, lack of control - those are the basic elements of uneasiness for a human being in flight. Dwell on any of them, and enjoying the experience of soaring in the air becomes difficult, if not impossible. It is, depending on the person and their general outlook and attitude toward life, their choice to do so - or not.
We are all the sum total of our life experiences. How we are exposed to anything, the amount of time spent doing it, as well as the attitudes toward it expressed by others able to influence us, all play a part in how we view anything in our lives. Fortunately, as previously mentioned, I was brought up to believe that flying in an airplane is as normal, safe and enjoyable as getting in an automobile. Fear was never a factor in the attitudes held about flying by my parents, and therefore I never developed any. To me, the experience of flying has always encompassed the basic elements of enthusiasm, exhilaration and a sense of freedom.
I brought those elements with me on my recent experience with a good friend in his 182, flying in a private plane for the first time again in over 30 years, He took me soaring over my home, and the breathtaking surrounding terrain of Northern California where I live. It was for me, two hours of sheer bliss. At the age of 51, my inner child smiled with delight.
There is an intense intimacy within the confines of the front seat of a small airplane cockpit. Immediately in front of you are the instruments and means by which you stay in the air. As a passenger, you sit next to the human you are literally trusting with your life. Once airborne, looking outside the window brings an immediate sense of humility; we are indeed mere specks upon this vast earth, not to mention what an obvious long way down indeed it is. To enjoy the experience however, you must forget these things. You can’t project or analyze. You have to simply let yourself be in the moment.
A pilot of course, without question, surrenders him or herself to the moment and the passion they have for flying. That is why they do it. They have immersed themselves in the mechanics and the techniques, insuring that they can rely on their ability to draw on their experience and training to let them safely slip the bonds of earth. Always in tune with that trained and ready part of themselves, they become one with the airplane; feeling the pulse and heart of the engine and metal they wrap themselves in. They become part of their artificial wings, and turn themselves over to the zen-like focus required to be in the moment, intensely aware of their groundless environment and what it takes to stay in it safely. When the knowledge and skill blends seamlessly with the joy of doing, there is a lightness of spirit to be found in flight that is unique.
And that to me, is where we owe the flyers in the world a debt of gratitude. Those that take to the sky at the controls of an airplane, take a little of the best that is in all of us with them every time they take to the air. They manifest our innate adventurous spirit. We aren’t all meant to do that, for circumstances and life dictate whether we view flying with joy or dread, or whether our situations will allow us to become a pilot even if we wanted to. They are fortunate, those who can afford to fly, speaking in both a monetary sense and a spiritual one. It takes a fair amount of money to fly, but it takes as well, a great deal of spirit, desire and courage to pilot an airplane.
Even if the idea of flight frightens us, even if it is something we do out of necessity with trepidation, or refuse to do at all - within each of us I think, is a small spark; a small spark of spirit that cannot help but resonate with the human being that will take the controls of an airplane, fly with the birds and the clouds, soaring above the earthbound human experience, and in doing so represents the adventurous heroic archetype buried deep inside us all.
