Maybe I should have more adequately put it this way. Her veto power, or influence is always in the conservative direction. By no means am I relinquishing PIC decision making tasks to her or any of my other passengers. I do, however, value their opinion. Especially with my wife, since she has been my primary passenger for the last 12 years, with a lot of that time having been spent in the backcountry. If for whatever reason she doesn't feel comfortable with something, I won't do it.
For example, the first time I considered going into Upper Loon Creek and was orbiting taking a look at the strip, I believe that she saw something either on the map or the Fly Idaho book that made her not comfortable. Now, Upper Loon is a pretty tame strip with a very cool approach that is now one of my favorites (before it burned anyway), but her input that day was enough for me to say, "Fine, we'll move on to our next strip." Maybe there was something to her gut feeling. Maybe she saw that I was more tired than I felt. Maybe she could see that I was dragging a little. Either way, I'm doing this for fun, not a job, and don't HAVE to go into any of these strips. I consider it good CRM when taking into account her take on things. She has been around aviation enough, as well as the backcountry, to warrant that I listen to her insight.
Now for the other side of the coin. A couple of years ago I took a Captain in with me that had no experience flying outside of the 121 environment recently, let alone ever off of pavement or in the mountains. I told him that if he didn't like something that he was seeing, to speak up. I told him to some extent he would have to trust me if I told him what was happening was normal. However, I figure that if I can't explain it to his liking then maybe I need to rethink what I am doing. Keeping in mind that this was a conversation between two experienced, fairly high-time pilots. What it boils down to for me personally is a safety check. A sound board, if you will, with someone that understands the lingo and principals, even if for him only in theory.
Lastly, you have those passengers that are not aviation savvy, let alone backcountry savvy (like my parents who I take into the backcountry occasionally). In this case, you have no other people to draw info from to use while making decisions. You've lost those other channels of information and are left with your own knowledge and experience. For me, that is when I feel the most inner pressure to be on my A game because I don't want to betray that complete trust that they have given to me to take them aloft and return them again safely. And you are right, those passengers give us the greatest opportunity to teach them about aviation and hopefully give them a positive experience.
My approach to it is not about sharing or giving up PIC authority, or being unduely influenced by others to make poor decisions. It is about using those valid resources to help me come to a decision. The pendulum of influence swings only to the conservative side. Like I said before, I do this for fun so I don't see any reason to be stupid about it.
However you boil it down, good decision making is the common denominator and doing all you can to do it right so you will be around to keep doing it.
Just so happens that I'm taking that Captain friend of mine back in this coming week. Being from Baltimore and never having done any Western flying, he loved it and has been anxious to get back out here and do it again. Hopefully I'll show him an equally good time this time.
Fly safe and thanks for the good post. Sorry for the lengthy response.