Matt, I echo the words and support expressed in all the other posts. Very sorry to hear about this, but I'm so glad everyone came through unhurt. In the end, that is simply all that matters.
Take the time you need to process this, both for yourself and with your wife. Don't let anybody else tell you how long that should be--it is a very personal thing. As Brett said, don't be shy about reaching out, whether to other members of this community or elsewhere, to work through this. A lot of us here have been fellow travelers on similar roads, and several more than once. In the meantime, I hope you can take some comfort in all that went right--you kept it together when the chips were down, your training and experience paid off, you made the decisions that kept your family safe, you experienced the presence of the Big Man Upstairs in that cockpit, your plane did its job and brought you through in one piece, and you were fortunate enough to be surrounded by good friends and support almost immediately. It's a bummer that some replaceable stuff was bent, but your cup runneth over, my friend.
Please don't hesitate to let me know if I can help you out in any way.