("borrowed" ~ from the AOPA Board)
Famous Cow Killed
Essex Upon Heath - Nottinghamshire (Reuters)
The UK's pride, Bessie the Cow, was killed yesterday when she was struck by the wing of a DeHavilland bi-plane piloted by Hugh MacDonald. Bessie was best known for being the cow face on "Elmer's Glue" bottles around the world.
MacDonald, flying the DeHavilland with tail number EIEI-O is an airshow pilot and grandson of Old MacDonald, of Farm fame. "I was just takin' off from the aerodrome in me bi-wing aeroplane when the bloody engine quit, a-forcin' me ta make a landing in the heath. I dinna see the cow until t'was too late. Now they're gonna charge me with loinslaughter. That's bull!"
Witnesses said they heard the plane's engine quit and were shocked to see the accident, "Ol' Bessie, she was just standin' there eatin', she looked up, with those big black eyeballs and didn't even have the time to say, 'Moo!' " Paddy Pharmhand (yes, the famous "Cow Paddy") just shook his red-haired head, "It's a shame, and udder shame!"
Memorial services will be held in accordance to Bovine tradition, with the Holy Cow of Trent overseeing the preparation of the fete. Beef dinner will be provided. Guests are asked to bring a dish to pass.
The remainder of Bessie's body will be disposed of in a manner consistent with Bovine tradition.
Yuze Spairingly, spokesperson for Elmer's Glue company spoke to Sky News and stated, "Elmer's Glue is saddened to hear of the loss of Bessie. She was a rare girl. We will be issuing special bottles that not only more prominently feature her face on the outside, but will contain some of her on the inside. Schoolchildren around Essex Upon Heath, and around the world, will know that some of Bessie will be with them...in their artwork stuck to the refrigerator, and possibly in that roast in the freezer."