So most people here post stories or topics that showcase talent or outstanding airmanship, which is great, I have learned so much from this forum as a rookie private pilot. Unfortunately I can't contribute much in this regard, what I can share however is some examples of talentless subpar airmanship. Hopefully we can get a thread going that is at the most humorous and at the least a bit educational.

I'll start:

On my first solo, I got so wound up making sure everything was right that I forgot what runway I was sitting on. I had been given clearance to depart 29, so I radio'd the tower and asked them to confirm I was in fact sitting on runway 29. They came back and said "Uhhh....yes...confirmed you are on 29" .... it was then I looked out the windscreen and noticed the massive 29 painted on the runway directly in front of my face.

And then my radio skills,

I've done most of my flying in uncontrolled areas, so I get nervous flying into unfamiliar towered airspace. On a recent flight into a control zone, tower said "Clear to enter control zone at one thousand or below" to which my read back was "Clear to enter control zone at one zero zero zero or below"

I'm trying to improve.

How many people have announced pattern position on the unicorn frequency?
Admit it.

I've blown people's entire camps (tent, campfire, children) into the weeds while taxiing into a parking spot under power...more than twice. I was given the ass-chewing I was due.

After watching an instructional video about making traffic calls in the Idaho backcountry with specific instructions on how to fly the traffic pattern at Johnson Creek a week prior, I was hustling to land while 5 badass Maule drivers waited for me to make my slow ass (and way too high) approach. One thing I wanted to do was arrive at JC with some class.

I called: "6SA 2 miles south Landing RWY 35"
Lead Maule Driver: "No Rush, we are just warming up"
I called: "6SA, 1 mile out entering left downwind RWY 35"
Then someone announced: "Supercub XXX taking off RWY 17....."
I got confused (forgot for a moment about opposite T/O and Landing direction) and then I called: "6SA upwind runway 17"
Lead Maule Driver: "6SA is that the same as downwind for RWY 35?"
I called: "Affirmative"

I felt like the biggest Jackass in the backcountry!

noodles wrote:So most people here post stories or topics that showcase talent or outstanding airmanship, which is great, I have learned so much from this forum as a rookie private pilot. Unfortunately I can't contribute much in this regard, what I can share however is some examples of talentless subpar airmanship. Hopefully we can get a thread going that is at the most humorous and at the least a bit educational.

I'll start:

On my first solo, I got so wound up making sure everything was right that I forgot what runway I was sitting on. I had been given clearance to depart 29, so I radio'd the tower and asked them to confirm I was in fact sitting on runway 29. They came back and said "Uhhh....yes...confirmed you are on 29" .... it was then I looked out the windscreen and noticed the massive 29 painted on the runway directly in front of my face.

And then my radio skills,

I've done most of my flying in uncontrolled areas, so I get nervous flying into unfamiliar towered airspace. On a recent flight into a control zone, tower said "Clear to enter control zone at one thousand or below" to which my read back was "Clear to enter control zone at one zero zero zero or below"

I'm trying to improve.

There's this thread that dates back a few years: https://www.backcountrypilot.org/forum/ ... y-did-4382

Local Civil Air Patrol have been known to make quite the crosswind on runway 18 when they do runups in their tiedown

A friend of a guy I know's cousin's brother was flying low down the river one day and popped up over the river bank to head home. He cleared the levee only to find himself at rooftop level over the main street of a small town. Luckily townspeople did not seem to concerned, and a few even waved at me...err waved at him I mean. He is much more careful about paying attention to where he's at now and always maintains proper altitude over populated areas.

ever line up for the wrong runway 2xs in the same day?

Bagarre wrote:How many people have announced pattern position on the unicorn frequency?
Admit it.

Or called into the Ground frequency to announce you are 10 miles out inbound for the option with information Lima... yep... been there.

Bagarre wrote:How many people have announced pattern position on the unicorn frequency?
Admit it.

I'm unfamiliar with the unicorn frequency. Which frequency would that be?

Barnstormer wrote:

Bagarre wrote:How many people have announced pattern position on the unicorn frequency?
Admit it.

I'm unfamiliar with the unicorn frequency. Which frequency would that be?

Id say another victim of autocorrect.

My guess would be Unicom.

I've made so many stupid pilot mistakes that I haven't any idea how many. But the one which comes to mind that was pretty close to the stupidist in the last dozen years was after being cleared to land on 16R at KDEN (Denver International), I proceeded to do a nearly perfect, soft, short landing on the parallel taxiway.

Cary

I've made my share, at least.

I dusted my mechanic's hangar taxiing to an annual. I'm sure that cost me extra.

First takeoff on my first solo I firewalled the throttle, did what I thought was a great takeoff, then looked out my left window to see the runway 50' off my left wing. Sure enough, I took off from the taxiway. Thank god it was early in the morning and no poor soul was taxiing about that morning.

Oh let me count the ways. I've turned down the volume on the radio and forgotten, I've landed at an airport about one minute after a NOTAM of closure was lifted (RC airplane show) without knowing until someone told me, I've ground off 5 of six plies off 2 tires skidding off the end of a runway with Twin Comanche at night because I couldn't get the runway lights to work, after lining up I discovered I was over a taxiway and side stepped it to the runway about halfway down (in Groton CT, Water on both sides, can't believe I taxied away), I've taken off with a tennis ball on my pitot tube, I've ground looped without any damage, just an embarrassing 180 deg turn unintentionally in front of an audience, I got lost once and needed to get vectored back to familiar territory (student), I failed to switch fuel tanks and had the engine shut down in flight (clipper with one wing tank), I've forgotten to raise the gear after climbout and my passenger (non-pilot) reminded me while I was trying to figure out why I was only going 120 kts. I've been chewed out by tower controllers and center controllers for various minor infractions.

Shit happens. Learn from it. Don't repeat. Use the ASRS

For the record, I did NOT land at one class D airport while talking to the tower at a different class D airport.








(I figured out I was at the wrong place while I was on downwind.)

cstolaircraft wrote:ever line up for the wrong runway 2xs in the same day?

How about asking the tower for clearance to runway 33 three times, each time them asking me to clarify, and on the third time they say we don't have a 33, we only have a 30. Doh!

Haha first time I was 180 deg off.... and the second time they had 2 runways within like 30 degrees of each other and I was doing a curved approach at a angle the one runway that I was cleared for looked like a taxiway... tower notified me I appeared to be on final for the wrong runway and gave the option to land on it while warning about x wind. Was less then 10 so no problem

Never have I ever lined up on a parallel taxiway after being cleared to land on a parallel runway.

I've also never taken a wrong turn down a taxiway after getting a taxi clearance.

I've also never fubar'd a simple class C ground clearance so bad that I had to Google the proper procedures before trying again.

It stinks for the guy that did. I bet all that would be pretty embarrassing.

Before I step in here I would like to know if there is a statute of limitations on most/any FARs.
I know the FAA divides a lot of "stuff" into major or minor.
If the FAA can hang around forever it will certainly reduce some humor here.
Maybe there is more than the usual reason/s for "Hangar Stories."
In the meantime I will make a small list.

Wannabe safe and free cause some of us still remember at least one unfortunate, but excellent story and demonstration of doing the best with what they had. As a rock climbing instructor in my younger days, I had a rule that: "There has to be an answer better than death, and it has to be in arms length." That "inspiration" came to me at the/a last pitch of a climb back in the days, (mid to late 60s), when it was considered fair game to give someone the correct directions and equipment list up to, but NOT including, the last pitch.