First though, let's talk about something that might happen if your flying buddies are resourceful enough to devise a method of extracting you from your incredibly overgrown and unlandable crash site. They've been reading their AFM 63 in the mornings after a cup of coffee, and happened to recall this method for airman surface-to-air rescue:
As you can see in the below diagram, all that's required here is: 1) a balloon powerful enough to float a good-sized dynamic rope a hundred feet into the air, 2) a body harness or bosun's chair that won't decapitate you, and 3) a retrieval aircraft of at least 12,500 lbs to rip your body off the surface and into immediate cruise flight dangling from the end of the rope. No problem.
I'll let these speak for themselves, as not much interpretation is needed. Obviously, different climates and conditions require different shelters both for effectiveness and available materials. Would you rather spend a night in an igloo or a para-teepee?
I really liked the 'improvised' hot air balloon that is somehow snagged by a 12,500 pound airplane's tail hook. The 'pickup' rescue plane has gotta be flying at least 100 kts when his stationary rescuee is snapped into the sky. Rope burns would be the least of the rescuee's worries.
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